วัด = Wat = temple, ป่า = Pa = forest, ถ้ำ = Tham = cave, วัว = Wua = Cow
Wat Pa Tam Wua Forest Monastery (WPTW) is exquisite, to say the least. It is located on a huge piece of land on the only road between Pai and Mae Hong Son, in North-Western Thailand. The moment I arrived I was captivated by the sheer beauty and splendor of the place.
It was high time for my next temple retreat. After my previous 10 day sitting last year many aspects of my life shifted to a lighter space having gained a broadened perspective. Over the last few weeks in Chiang Mai I had been going around and around in circles in my mind. The same fears and struggles were continually resurfacing and I needed to break free and clear away the next layer of limiting patterns from within me. I chose to stay at WPTW for 10 days (plus two extra days for travel) since in my experience it takes up to 7 days of meditation to reach the deeper levels the mind. Although I could see significant mental changes in my perception even after one day of meditation, the habitual mind is so deeply ingrained, the longer I invest, the better.
Getting to WPTW from Chiang Mai is easy. I Just hopped in a van from Arcade bus station to Mae Hong Son and informed the driver that I needed to be dropped off at the Wat. After 5 hours of driving along a very curvy road which winds itself up the mountain slope (it is not a comfortable journey), I arrived. There is a large sign on the main road, it cannot be missed. I was fortunate to have a Thai lady in the van with me who was also heading to the temple, she offered me a lift in her car for the remaining 1km.
Temple talk on the street in Chiang Mai had it that that this Wat is run by a very warm hearted and continually smiling Abbot, which proved to be most true. As I arrived he emerged in full cheer and directed me to my private Kuti where I was to sleep and meditate. A very luxurious wooden abode on stilts, minus the fact that there is barely a mattress on the wooden bed. I was housed in No. 25, when added together = 7, the number of spirituality and deeper awareness.
At this Wat, we can choose if we wish to talk during breaks or remain silent altogether. If one wishes to be silent you will receive a badge to pin to your shirt that says “Silent and Happy”. I decided to be somewhere in between, and speak only when I felt it was truly necessary, and follow a middle path. At WPTW we must wear white clothing. At times this made me feel as if I was wondering around in my pajamas all day, and other times it made me feel like a fairy or an angel. I watched my mental associations with some curiosity.
In life I have realized that I am given the experiences I need and not the ones that I want. Choosing a temple to spend time in is a great example of this. When deciding where to go for retreat, my mind emerges with a whole wish list; a peaceful and beautiful place, a cave nearby, daily Dharma talks, English speaking monks etc. Personally I’ve realized its best to abandon all of these ideas and throw myself wholeheartedly into the hands of the mighty universe which knows far better which temple is going to give me what I need the most for my highest learning. Easier said than done; however I can be sure that this is what will happen regardless of my hopes.
WPTW is home to several Buddhist monks, one of which is a tall slender and very attractive looking monk, originally from Myanmar, who speaks perfect Thai and fairly good English. He is known as The Teacher, as he leads the Daily Dhamma talks and explains the meditation method. During walking meditation practice I glanced at him a few times; his gracious, calm and poised demeanor and evenly paced strides were a sight to behold, a beautiful phenomenon. I reminded myself to return to my practice and stop entertaining such thoughts about the monk.
The Teacher described the meditation method used at WPTW. Using our breath as our object, we fix our attention on the inhale and the exhale, keeping the awareness and the breath unified. Noticing the feeling and temperature of the air as it enters and leaves the nostrils. As soon as the mind wonders astray, returning it to focus on the breath, without any judgment or anger of oneself, just simply returning it. During practice my mind wondered away constantly, I would notice it caught up again in its own illusory stories. Sometimes I would assess the value of these stories and ask myself, “Was this story beneficial to my life in some way?” The answer was always a resounding, “No”, the thoughts were simply useless mind wanderings and they stole my present moment away for no valuable reason.
The Teacher Monk from Myanmar explains the two types of Meditation that we were practicing; Samatha, which literally means ‘calm’, for calming and concentrating the mind, which we did by walking very slowly for an hour twice per day, and using both our steps and breath as objects for focus. The second type is Vipassana, meaning, to ‘see things as they really are'. We practiced this three times per day by focusing on our breath while sitting for 40 minutes and then lying down for 20 minutes. The point of this is to dispel and tame the constant jumping around of the monkey mind and concentrate it into one point to create mental fortitude and discipline, as well as clearing out defilements from the deepest layers of the mind, body and spirit. It is powerful; the effects of the practice have motivated me to stay committed to my daily personal practice.
Anyone that has been practicing meditation for some time will tell you of all the many benefits. I myself was completely enraptured by the power of meditation after experiencing my first 10 day sitting some time ago. There are several meditation methods, however I believe the point is to choose one method and just stick with it. Judging ones method and wondering if it is the best one is defeating the whole point of practice, and gives the mind further material for judgment and fear.
All pain in the body is ultimately created in the human mind. This may seem like an unusual concept for someone who has not spent some time reflecting on it. When we still the mind and remove our awareness from the external world, habitual patterns, fears, ideas and perceptions from within the mind and the body break down and leave the spirit altogether. Ultimately in practice we are seeking to go from a scattered mind, to a concentrated mind, to eventually reach no mind – here we are free from “self” and have merged into our true one-ness with all things. There is no point attempting to understand this with the mind, since it is the mind that has created the misperception of our separation from all things in the first place. Thus, meditation is an experiential practice, and too much time talking about it, defeats the whole point. Better just stay with the chosen method, and keep going.
A discovered an added and unexpected benefit during evening chanting practice; an opportunity for me to practice my Thai reading. This meant I would need take a Thai chanting book, instead of an English one from the shelf. I am quite a shy soul and so each evening I attempted to be inconspicuous and hope no-one would notice that I was reading from the Thai chanting book, as this would create unwanted attention from the other meditaters, which I didn’t want.
WPTW is not strict and thus we must choose our own level of commitment to the practice. Many foreigners arrive at the temple from the neighboring town of Pai, which is like hippy central, in my opinion, and thus they have come to get a tourists snapshot of a monastic lifestyle. This makes for a fabulous environment for me to watch my mind and notice how it judges and forms opinions of the various folk that come and go. Lately I have really been training my mind a lot; seeing others as they really are instead of how my ego perceives them. I find this to be an extremely helpful practice in my daily life, as it keeps my heart softer than my mind.
At this Wat we can choose to what extent we interact socially and to what extent we remain focused on mindfulness and presence. I personally don’t believe the two blend well together since to achieve greater awareness of ‘What Is’ it is necessary to remove oneself from social interaction. I chose to keep to myself and only interact when the moment truly called for it. It was fascinating to see what resulted - allowing mindlessness to dictate where I sat during meals, and who I was drawn towards and repelled by, it was liberating being free of having to make such decisions. Perhaps this is what life would be like if I didn’t think so much; free flowing, free of judgment, open-hearted.
One day I was practicing walking meditation on my own in one of the enormous manicured gardens. The Abbot emerged from his quarters and summoned me towards him. I wondered what on earth he wanted to talk to me about. His English, while quite limited, is very endearing. He motioned for me to sit down and proceeded to give me a bracelet made of wooden beads and a highly sweetened bottle of berry juice.
He then told me a story of how he wondered around Thailand, meditating in caves for 41 years. The Abbot shared a few personal stories and told how several times tigers would emerge from the forest and circle around him while he was meditating alone at night (are there tigers in Thailand? perhaps he is referring to wild cats or leopards?), in these moments he prayed to Lord Buddha to protect him. Several times during meditation he opened his eyes and looked directly into the eyes of a snake peering at him, fortunately many snakes in Thailand are not poisonous. “Vipassana have Power”, the Abbot repeated this statement many times. Clearly it does; he has his own very efficiently run monastery on one of the most spectacular pieces of land I have ever seen, he is always smiling, always joyful. The first time he came to this land, where the monastery is now located, he told me, he felt compelled to write a letter to the Thai government and ask permission to build his monastery upon it.
Every day at 10:30am it is customary for lay persons to offer the lunch to the monks . The Abbot summoned the men to collect the food and the woman to offer the food. He would call us to come, I found it quite amusing; “Woman come offer food, England, Korea, Singapore, Japan, America, Australia… etc.”, he would say. Every day he had a new list of countries, however I never heard him mention my very own South Africa. My white colored South African skin is ever a source of confusion for Thai people.
One morning while washing dishes after breakfast a French man proceeded to tell me that there we no good T’ai Chi, teachers in China, and that they were all in Taiwan. He had spent time in China searching for a good a teacher, only to find himself with one who turned out to be an alcoholic. The second time I spoke to this man, he said that WPTW was not the right temple for him since the Teacher monk was very annoying and he had heard all of the teachings before. I asked him what had brought him to this temple in the first place and what he had hoped to receive from coming. He seemed to like my question since he stood up and came to sit opposite me. After a bit of probing to attempt to understand why he was in such turmoil, I decided to risk being direct and told him that I experienced him as someone who is unhappy no matter where he finds himself. He must have appreciated my directness, since he warmly thanked me at the end of the conversation.
On another occasion I had a conversation with a Russian man after lunch. He told me that he felt it was good that we could choose to speak between meditation sessions if we wished because then we could practice being mindful with our words. Soon after this he told me how he regarded many people in Thailand as very stupid among some other very mindless things. I was not enjoying the conversation so I told him to please leave me alone to read my book. Interestingly enough, despite this first conversation, we had become friends by the end of the retreat.
One afternoon, I was taking a meditative bare-footed stroll up the mountain, towards the meditation cave. En-route I turned to greet a young Russian girl who was walking alone. Her English was not good, but we were still able to chat. She told me how unhappy she was with her life, since she didn’t know what she wanted to do and it was making her very sad. She had wanted to become a writer but her parents had told her that writers were poor and unhappy people and she would do better as an accountant. We then spent over two hours together talking. I asked her a lot of questions in the hope that she would be open to seeing her situation in another way. I much empathized with her since I myself have been in that painful space of not knowing my true direction in life, and feeling tossed around and confused. She did appear to be uplifted by the time I left her.
Over breakfast one morning I began chatting to a Korean girl who had been living in India for several years and was now living in Berlin with her husband in Germany. She told me that she didn’t want to work because earning money was capitalism and she didn’t want any part of it. She then told me she was struggling because she was very sensitive and she absorbed the emotions of other people very easily and as a result she felt emotionally burdened which resulted in occasional sleepless nights. I told her that I too, was very sensitive and I then proceeded to share with her some of the techniques I use to protect myself from the emotions of others.
Meditation practice increases my awareness that all judgment that I perceive about myself or others exists purely in my illusory mind. Every time I am aware of myself judging and recognize that my judgments exist in my illusory mind I let go of this habit a little more. By continually training my mind to return to the present moment, fear lets go of its grip, as fear does not exist in the present and this illusion is created by are habitual patters of living in either the past or the future.
One of the most helpful benefits of a long meditation retreat is the opportunity for me to see my own fears and judgments of myself and others in crystal clarity. This is not possible to the same extent in normal daily life due to the distractions of the external world. On retreat I can really see my own imperfections and this enables me to have more internal space for self-compassion and compassion for others.
One of the key qualities that assists me in the success of daily life is mental discipline. Remaining in the present moment by continually integrating meditation and mindfulness into my daily life. I love the fact that time is longer and increased when living in the present moment. If I invest 30 minutes of practice in the morning, I have gained several hours in the remaining part of the day, in terms of the perception of time. It’s so interesting, my 10 days of meditation felt like about 10 weeks; so many present moments, it changes my experience of time and a moment can feel like infinity.
I have let go of my “self” to a greater extent after this retreat. I feel less self-important and more expansive and inclusive. I am so grateful to Wat pa Tam Wua and the many Temples that exist to enable awareness.
During my stay I read two books which I highly recommend; The first of which contributed massively to my remaining committed to the method and keeping my mind out of the way. ‘ Song of Mind’, written by Chan Master Sheng Yen.
And the second book, ‘Lovely Love’ written by Luang Phaw Dhammajayo. This book gave me wise insight about integrating Buddhist teachings into my primary relationships.
“May all beings be free of enmity and suffering….” excerpt from evening chanting, Reflections of Loving Kindness.
Video, photo and additional info;
Comments